Ep. 3b Sidewalk Guyz

A normal afternoon at Bygone Island. Sonic and Knuckles were at Sonic’s house playing a video game.

Sonic: Not gonna bail on me this time!

Knuckles: Hah! Says YOU!

Sonic: Gimmie that combo, gimmie that combo!

Knuckles: COMBO BREAKER, MAN!

Sonic: WHAT??

Knuckles: YES!! (Stands up) WOO! In your FACE, big blue!

Sonic: Ah, you cheated.

Knuckles: Says WHO?

Sonic: Says ME, you cheater. (Punches him on the shoulder) Heh heh.

Knuckles: Yeah yeah, keep thinking that. (He punches Sonic on the shoulder a little hard.)

Sonic: Ow! Jeez. One more round?

Knuckles: You’re on!

Just when they were about to begin another round, Sonic heard his door being knocked.

Sonic: I got it. (He zips to the door and sees… an excited Amy Rose.) Oh hey, Amy. What’s up?

Amy: Sonic you have to check this out! (She holds up an open magazine.)

Sonic: (Not interested) Huh. A recipe for chocolate chip and… sulfur flavored muffins? What am I looking at here?

Amy: Not THAT! (Points to the next page.) THIS! The newest indie boyband “The Sidewalk Guyz” are going to hold a performance here! TONIGHT!!

Sonic: … And I should care because why?

Amy: Becaaaause… I took the liberty to invite all the friends I know and love a chance to see the show! (Holds up a dozen or so tickets in her arms.) We got front row spots!

Knuckles: (Walks in) Ok, I’m pretty sure the girls go gaga for me, but why are you so obsessed with these guys?

Sonic: Yeah. They’re just here to hog the music industry from people’s wallets.

Amy: That’s not true! They only care about their fans! I just thought it would be nice once in a while to go to a get-together with our friends!

Knuckles: … … … There’s no way to talk her out of this, is there?

Sonic: … (Sighs…) You win this time, Amy.

Amy squeals in joy.

Sonic: How much did you spend on those tickets anyway?

Amy: Oh I didn’t spend a cent! I used one of DM’s credit cards!

Sonic: … … …

Later that night, in the center of the village, mostly girls were filling the area and were screaming in excitement. Amy and her girlfriends were ecstatic standing in the front. All except for Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks who were standing in the back.

Amy: Omigosh, this is so exciting!

Cream: I’ve never been to a concert before!

Rouge: You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks were trying to cope with the screaming fangirls of the island.

Sonic: Ugh… These girls are giving me a headache! We get it! We’re going to see some stupid boyband! … I can’t even hear myself talk anymore!!

Tails: WHAT?! I can’t hear you, Sonic!

Knuckles: No, I’m not going on a diet! I did that five minutes ago!

Sonic and Tails: WHAAT?!

And just like that, the crowd finally settled down. Comedy Chimp walks onto the stage and taps the microphone.

Chimp: *Ahem.* Good evening girls of Bygone Island! I’d like to thank you all for coming! Tonight’s the night for you to scream your hearts out! As we all know boybands for you are the hip of the century! I chose myself to introduce these guys and BOY, they can be a hassle! Seems like they… (Holds up his hands tied with rope.) Got me all tied up! … In a knot! … Get it?

Amy: Hey, Chimp! You’re “knot” funny! … (Giggles) See what I did there?

Knuckles’ voice: I get it!

Chimp: Whoa… Touched a nerve there. I guess I’ll just see myself out and introduce the boys of the show! Exit! Stage left! (He runs off to the left, only to fall off the stage.) Oomph! I’m ok!

Sticks: I don’t like where this is going, boys. I seem a bit skeptical on this… boyband Amy’s gotten into.

Sonic: You and me both.

Sticks: Exactly! They’re probably going to mind control us and make us do their bidding! Luckily for me, I came prepared. (She takes out what looks like a water gun… with paper towel rolls tapped to the top.)

Tails: Sticks, I think you might be getting the wrong idea. I mean boybands are kinda stupid, but there’s no way anyone could be mind-controlled by them. It’s all the girls’ actions that make them do what they do.

All of a sudden, the smoke machines fill the stage until… Three wolf-guys wearing street swag appear on stage. All the girls shriek and scream in joy.

Wolf 1: What up, girls of Bygone?! Name’s Wulfford! That there’s Barknado, and that guy’s Hounder! And we are…

The three: The Sidewalk Guyz!!

Barknado: (Howls loudly)

Hounder: Who’s ready to get down tonight, ladies?!

The girls scream in joy once again. All except the boys and Sticks.

The Sidewalk Guyz started singing their own pop song to the audience of screaming girls.

Guyz: (Singing) Ooh, baby! You tell me what you want! Ooh, baby! I give you all my life!

As they continue singing, the girls were so obsessed with their music.

Sticks: Mmff! This music is so loud and annoying! I can’t stand those wolf guys standing on stage, blaring that loud… music that’s so… truthful… loving… and… and…

Sonic: Um… Sticks? Earth to Sticks? (He waves his hand around her face.) You ok, girl?

Sticks: (She opens her arms, accidently hitting Sonic and shouts loudly!) Sing it to me, you foxy wolf guys!!! Sing it to MEEE!!!

Hounder: (Singing) What’cha gonna do when the folks are gone?!

Wulfford: (Singing) Get into the beat and join in…

All three: (Singing) All the fun, girl!!

All the girls screamed in excitement for the Sidewalk Guyz as Sonic and his friends couldn’t take it anymore.

Sonic: (Covering his ears.) I don’t know which is worse! Their singing or THEIR screaming!

Tails: Maybe we should bail out before they break our eardrums!

Knuckles: Too late! Mine are already broken!

Without even commenting, Sonic dragged Knuckles away as Tails followed with Sticks still screaming along with the other girls.

Sticks: Sing me into heaven you sexy beasts!

One of the singer wolves started to howl loud and long to the music.

For some reason, Tails sorta reacted to it, as if he heard something…

Sonic: Yo, Tails! You coming??

Tails: Uh… Y-yeah, I’ll be right there. (He seemed a bit skeptical as he walked away with Sonic and Knuckles.)

The next morning… At Sonic’s house he was lounging on his hammock until he heard his door being knocked rapidly.

Sonic: (Wakes up) Heh? Wha? (He gets off the hammock and yawns as the door continues being knocked.) I’m coming, I’m coming! Sheesh! (He walks up to the door and opens.) What’s with the pounding this morning? I-… WAAH!!!

Amy was at this door and… she didn’t look too pleasing. She had a look of malice on her face and was breathing like a savage beast with a black eye…

Amy: Where are they?! WHERE ARE THEY?!!

Sonic: (Disturbed) Uh… Who now?

Amy: The three most beautiful boys in the entire island! They’re around here! I can smell them!

Sonic: Eh… Are… You feeling ok, Amy?

Amy: I’m fine! I feel just DANDY! I’m drawn to those boys and their wonderful music!

Sonic: Oh yeah… Those sucky boys with their sucky boyband music. (Suddenly Amy grabs Sonic’s ascot and brings him close to her face.) GAH!!

Amy: TAKE THAT BACK!! They’re somewhere on this island! I know it! I need them! They need ME!!

Sonic: H-hey, Amy! Let go of me! Why are you so into these Sidewalk Guyz anyway??

Amy: Because they’re SO dreamy! (She shoves Sonic to the ground.) You will not BELIEVE how much torture I went through just to find them! I was THIS close to giving them a kiss!! … Until THEY got in the way.

Sonic: Is… that why you look like you got into a fight?

Amy: Oh it’s nothing personal. I might’ve shoved Cream to the ground and got a black eye by Rouge. But that’s not important! Those Sidewalk Guyz will be mine when I find them! I’m coming for you my loves! (She dashes off!)

Sonic: … Well, back to nap time. (He slouches onto his hammock.)

Meanwhile, near the entrance to the village, Knuckles was doing some pushups on the ground. He then heard Sticks’ loud trilling from nearby.

Knuckles: ??? (He gets up.)

Nearby, Sticks was standing in a savage fighting pose against Rouge.

Sticks: There can be only one, stogy broad!

Rouge: Just a heads up, badger. Those boys are MINE.

Sticks: I called dibs first!

Rouge: … No you didn’t.

Sticks: I did so!

Rouge: Ok, WHEN exactly did you call dibs?

Sticks: Right about now.

Rouge: What-?! D-! That doesn’t make any sense!

Sticks: You don’t make any sense!

While they continue arguing, Knuckles walks in.

Rouge: Says the wild furball who can’t even READ.

Sticks: You take that back you walking two dimensional-! … Over-exaggerated… Eh… brat with fake melons!!

Rouge: !!!! OH YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE!

Sticks: Got a problem with THAT?! Come at me, sis!

Rouge growls in anger while Sticks trills in enragement until Knuckles steps in.

Knuckles: Whoa whoa, hold up, ladies! There’s no need to get into a cat fight! … You related to cats, right?

Rouge: Back off, meat-head. Those handsome boys are gonna lay their eyes on ONE of us tonight.

Sticks: And that’s gonna be ME!!

Knuckles: Wait wait, hold up. You’re actually fighting over that stupid boyband? (Laughs.) Oh that’s ridiculous! (The two then gave him glaring views…) What? It’s true! Boybands are so overrated. (They both grab his arms.) Hey, what are you-?

SNAP!! CRACK!!! SNAP!! CRACK!!

Knuckles thuds to the ground with his limbs curled and twisted, making him into the shape of a ball. A very uncomfortable ball.

Knuckles: (In pain…) Ok… I might’ve walked right into that one…

Later on, Tails walks over to Cream’s house holding two popsicles.

He enters Cream’s house through the front door as one of the popsicles was melty.

Tails: Hey, Cream! I bought a yummy popsicle! This one’s kinda melty, but… I’m pretty sure you’ll like it! … … … Cream?

He then heard a loud shrill up the stairs!

Upstairs, Vanilla was shoving back Cream, acting so ballistic and loud!

Cream: Let me go! Lemme go!! They need me! I need them!

Vanilla: For the last time, sweetheart! Calm down! Mff!! (She pushes Cream into her bedroom and slams the door. She catches her breath while Cheese floats near her, concerned…) *Whew…*

Tails: (Walks in) ??? Ms. Vanilla? Is everything ok?

Vanilla: Oh, Tails. I’m sorry but you came at a really bad time. Cream’s acting so ballistic. She never behaved this way before!

Tails: What’s wrong with her?

Vanilla: I don’t know. She was just fine yesterday, but now all she talks about are these… Sidewalk Guys or something. It’s like she obsessed with those boys.

Tails: Obsessed?

SMASH!! Cream PUNCHED a hole through her door, startling Vanilla, Tails and Cheese. Through the hole to her room she had an insane look on her face and was snarling like a wild creature!

Cream: (Snarling and breathing like mad…) BOYS…

Tails: … … … There’s something weird going on around here… (The melty popsicle falls off the stick and onto his glove.) Eh!

Back at the village, Sonic was walking around and seemed to notice some… differences.

Most of the females around the village were fighting each other or screaming at one another. Two girls were cat-slapping around Sonic.

Girl 1: Ack!!! They’re MINE!!

Girl 2: No they’re MINE!!

They scream as they continue fighting. Sonic seemed a bit confused… He walked up to a food stand with a young female running it.

Sonic: Excuse me, but… Can you tell me what’s up with these girls around here?

Girl: What’s UP?? It’s those dreamy Sidewalk Guyz! I just wanna make them mine!

Sonic: … Eh... What? (Another girl runs in, shoving Sonic out of the way.)

Girl 2: No way! They love ME more than you!

Girl: They were looking at ME, last night!

Girl 2: Well THEY blew ME a kiss! (She slaps the girl across the face and they continue fighting.)

Sonic backs away from them until he saw something in the tall grass nearby.

He moves the grass over to reveal the Sidewalk Guyz talking on some weird phone-like devices.

Wulfford: (Talking on the phone) Yo, boss! Things are looking outta whack here! Just like you wanted! … Yeah, I know! These girls are so crazy over us! … … … Yuh-huh. We’ll pick ‘em up for ya!

Sonc: ?!?! What in the world?

Wulfford: Come on, boys. Let’s sell out our next one!

Guyz: (They high-five.) Right on! (They all leave.)

Sonic: … … … (He tried to follow them until someone tapped his shoulder.) GAH,SECRETTURNABOUTPUNCH!! (He punches his fist into someone’s palm! It was… DM!) !!! DM??

DM: What are you doing?

Sonic: (Takes his hand back) Uh… Nothing. Just spying on some weird boyband who might be making all the girls on the island go a little psycho.

DM: Boyband?

Sonic: Yeah, some wolf-boys called “Sidewalk Guyz…” or something like that. Even Amy’s acting so weird about them.

DM: Hm… I think I’ve seen something like this before.

Sonic: Seriously?

DM: Call Tails and we’ll meet up with him to talk more.

Later, at Tails’ garage, DM and Sonic meet up with Tails on his laptop.

Sonic: Tails, something weird’s going on with the girls on the island. I have a slight feeling it has something to do with that boyband. Amy couldn’t stop talking about them. Apparently she was acting so wild for them.

Tails: (Typing) I have the same question about them myself, Sonic. Cream wasn’t acting like herself either when I paid her a visit.

Knuckles: (Walks in.) That’s NOTHING. Rouge and Sticks curled me up into a BALL when I got into their little fight over them. (Clicks his back loudly.) Oh yeah. I’m totally gonna feel that in the morning.

DM: So you’re saying the girls are going nuts over this boyband?

Sonic: Why are they so obsessed anyway? They wouldn’t act REAL crazy on their own, wouldn’t they?

DM: It depends. Maybe it has something to do with their music.

Knuckles: What makes you think that?

DM: Think about it. Music can have subtle hidden messages all the time.

Tails: She’s right. Maybe those Sidewalk Guyz hypnotized most of the girls of the island with their music.

Knuckles: Yeah right. There’s no such thing as controlling minds with MUSIC.

Tails: You’d be surprised, Knuckles. I thought I felt a chill down my spine when those wolves were howling their song, so it must be connected to something extraordinary.

DM: If we can get ahold of their music, we can mess around with it until we hear the messages.

Knuckles: Yeah, question. How are we supposed to get their music without letting them suspect us?

Tails: That’s why you have ME, Knuckles! Thankfully, their music torrents have been uploaded this morning! Thank you, pirate websites!

Sonic, Knuckles, and DM: … … …

Meanwhile, back outside…

Amy was looking around in the village for the Sidewalk Guyz…

Amy: They’re here somewhere… I can feel it…

She moves backwards while looking around cautiously…

Amy: I don’t care how long it takes to find those cuties! They’re gonna be MINE! All mine! Their music is just so… wonderful! So… extraordinary! So… hypnotizing…

But then, her back touched Cream’s back!

Amy and Cream: WAAAH!! (They turn to face each other!) You!! You’re trying to take those boys FIRST, aren’t you?!

Cream: They’re MINE!

Amy: Nuh-UH, sister! I laid my eyes on them FIRST!!

Just then, Sticks and Rouge walk in.

Rouge: Says YOU. I knew about them before YOU did!

Amy: WHAT?! HOW?!

Rouge: I told you about them.

Sticks: There’s no way they’re gonna fall for a pink hedgehog and an underage fluffy bunny!

Cream: You take that back, you… Smelly… meanie!

The girls continued arguing…

Amy: Girls… GIRLS… GIRLS!!!!! (They finally stop…) (She sighs…) LOOK at us! We’re all fighting for the same thing! We know that those boys are incredibly dreamy and all, but… We can’t let them separate us, am I right?

Rouge: Hm. She has a point.

Cream: I guess so.

Sticks: What are you on about?

Amy: I mean, what if we at least try and woo those boys like NORMAL girls? If they see us fighting they’ll run away from us…

Sticks: You speak truthfully, Amy.

Cream: Uh-huh…

Rouge: So we’re gonna have a good clean fight?

Amy: Yep. And may the best lady win. Truce?

The other girls: … … … Truce.

???: Hey, ladies!

The girls: !!!!! (They turn to see… The Sidewalk Guyz!)

Barknado: We’ve been looking for you!

Hounder: What’s a bunch of pretty babes doing out here all alone?

Sticks: (Trying to keep her composer.) H-h-how did you know we were out here??

Wulfford: Well why don’t you try and catch us and we’ll tell you? Come on, boys. Let’s bounce! (They run off, hooting like wolves.)

Cream: I can’t keep myself down! I wanna kiss one of those boys! (Amy stops her!) !!!!

Amy: Whoa, Cream! Stop! We made a deal, remember? We promised not to get too obsessed with those boys! Did you forget?

Cream: Um…

Rouge: You know what? Forget that promise. Those boys are MINE! (She dashes off!)

Sticks: Not for long, fake-melon lady! (She dashes off too!)

Cream: (She shoves Amy and runs after them!) I saw them first!!

Amy: Girls! Wait! We made a promise! … … … You know what? Forget I promised anything. TAKE ME IN, WOLF BOYZ!!! (She runs off!!)

Back at Tails’ garage, he managed to get a song of the Sidewalk Guyz.

Tails: Ok. Last night those guys sang this particular song. So it might have something to do with the girls going nuts. If I dig around in this music, I might see if the mind-control theory is correct.

DM: You ready for this, guys?

Knuckles: I hope you know what you’re doing…

Sonic: I’m sure they’ll get something outta this. We’ll just hafta see if they’re right. (Takes out a soda can.) But first…. (He opens it as it fizzes…)

DM: What’s with the soda?

Sonic: Oh, I wanna try one of those “spit-take” things for when Tails discovers something in that music. I always wanted to do something like that. (He takes a big sip.)

Tails: Ok. Get ready to have your mind explode! (Knuckles who was worrying, grabs his head.)

Tails pressed a key on his computer and the Sidewalk Guyz’s music starts playing.

The music kept playing normally…

Sonic: (Gulps the soda in his mouth) Hey, what gives??

Tails: That’s weird… I don’t hear anything.

DM: Try slowing it down.

Tails slowed the music down but… there was still nothing noticeably different.

Tails: What?? I don’t get it! Where’s the hidden messages??

Sonic: Maybe the girls just like the boys for who they are.

Knuckles: If I see those knuckle heads again I’m gonna rewind their faces! … Whatever that’ supposed to mean.

DM: !!!! Wait a minute! Knuckles say that again!

Knuckles: What again?

DM: The other thing!

Knuckles: What other thing?

DM: Something about rewind!

Knuckles: What about rewind??

DM: What you said before!

Knuckles: What DID I say before??

DM: Stop copying my wordings!

Knuckles: I’m not copying your wordings!

DM: (Screams in frustration) AAAAUGH!!!!
Knuckles: (Screams in confusion) GAAAAH!!!!

Tails: So wait, you’re saying I should rewind their music? … Well, it’s worth a shot. (He inputs some command on his keyboard and the ending of the music began playing in reverse.)

As the reversed music was about to play the wolf howling, there some odd robot-like voice that was barely noticeable…

Tails: Did you hear that? Lemme just adjust the volume, bring up the bass a bit and… (He plays back the reversed music again. Likewise, before the howling began, a strange robot-like voice was heard.)

Voice: WHEN YOU HEAR OUR HOWLING, DARLING FANS, YOUR PRECIOUS MINDS ARE IN OUR HANDS…

Sonic: (He immediately spits out soda all of Tails!!) Scrambled Eggman!! Now THERE’S a worthy spit-take!!

Knuckles: So, wait… You’re telling me that… Tails and DM were RIGHT??

Tails: Hah hah! It IS mind control! Up top!! (He and DM high-five!)

DM: What I tell ya?

Tails: Wait… This raises another question. How did the wolves MAKE that music and… WHY are they mind-controlling most of the girls of the island to make them all loopy?

All of a sudden, they heard what sounded like Amy and her friends screaming outside!!

DM: !!!!! I think we’re about to find out. Let’s go!

They dash off to the rescue!!

Sonic zips back inside, drinks his soda and does another spit-take for his amusement.

Sonic: Heh heh heh. (He puts the soda down and zips away to follow the others.)

Outside near the forest, Amy, Sticks, and the rest of her friends and other females were trapped in a steel cage!

Amy: Let us OUT of here!

Sticks: I’m already feeling clastrafonic in here and it’s driving me loco!

Rouge: It’s “claustrophobic”, dimwit.

Sticks: Oh so now you’re saying I’m stupid?!

Rouge: You said it, not me.

Sticks: GRRR!!!!

Amy: Can we FOCUS here, ladies?! We need to figure out what the heck is going on here!

Cream: But where did those dreamy wolf boys go?? We were following them and then ended up here…

???: Hah hah hah ha haaa!!!

The girls: !!!!!!!!

Eggman hovers in on his Eggmobile.

Eggman: Such a surprise to see all the lovely ladies cooped up together!

Amy: Eggman!! What’s going ON here?

Eggman: Ha ha ha! The success of my intermediate revenge of course! My plan to capture all the ladies on the island was a guaranteed success! My young wolf boys can attract quite a crowd, can’t they?!

Cream: His… WOLF boys??

Eggman: You see, I took the liberty into studying the behaviors of girls being obsessive over boybands, and thought it would be a great way to get revenge on all of you!

Cream: But why us?? Don’t you wanna destroy Mr. Sonic??

Eggman: Why of course! And to make it even better, Sonic won’t even know your missing until it’s too late!

In the nick of time, Sonic, Knuckles, and Knuckles arrive at the scene! DM for some reason, didn’t show up.

Sonic: Amy! Those Sidewalk Guys are fake!

Tails: They were mind controlling you and all the other girls with their music!

Sonic: (Notices Eggman.) Oh hey, Eggman.

Eggman: What?!?! How did you know that I secretly inputted a special mind control tone in the wolf boys’ music that allows them to mind control all the females on the island?! Someone must’ve leaked their music! But WHO?!

At Eggman’s base… Cubot dressed like a pirate was on the computer.

Back at the action…

Eggman: Since you probably discovered my scheme AND what I intend to do… It’s time for all of you to face the music!

POOF!!! A burst of smoke blows up, making the group cough! The Sidewalk Guyz then appeared, looking spectacular.

Girl 1: (Screams in joy!) Those boys look SO cuter up close!!

Girl 2: (Bleating tone) I don’t care if they’re working for Eggma-a-a-n! They’re so dreamy-y-y-y!

Amy: Who’s SIDE are you all on?!

Wulfford: Yo, look who we got here, boys!

Hounder: A buncha no-life losers who can’t understand our music!

Barknado: Let’s teach him a lesson they’ll never forget. HIT IT!! (They start dancing towards the boys.)

Sonic: This is an odd day, even for me. (He dashes forward to punch one of the boys, but Wulfford PUNCHED Sonic in the face, making a loud clang sound!!) OOF!! Ugh… ??? Did one of them just CLANG?

Knuckles: GRAAAA!! (CLANG!!!!) (He punched Hounder in the face, but Hounder didn’t even MOVE…) Ow!!! Jeez… What are these guys MADE of?? (Hounder grabs his legs and holds him upside-down in the air!!) WAH!!! Please don’t break my legs. It took forever to put them back together!

Sonic and Tails tried to fight back but the Boyz were too strong for them!

Cream: (Cheering) Yay! Go Sidewalk Guyz!! (Amy and her friends gave Cream a flat look.) Uh… I mean… (Jeering) Booooo!

Sonic: Ugh… What is UP with them?!

Tails: It’s like they’re made of metal or something!!

Eggman: Correction! They’re made of TITANIUM! A big step up from my shrew robot that you dismantled!

Sonic: So… They’re ROBOTS?! (Wulfford punches Sonic to the ground.)

Tails: That can explain why we can’t hurt them… (Barknado pummels him to the ground.)

Knuckles: (Shapped almost like a pretzel by Hounder…) That… kinda explains a lot. (He tossed them into Sonic and Tails!!)

Hounder: You think you’re as fresh as us, dawg?

Wulfford: We’re about twenty-times stronger than you!

Barknado: Yo, ladies! For those of you who wanna stick with the sons who have the big guns raise your hands!

Most of the girls except Amy and her friends raised their hands. Cream raises her hand… Only for Amy to give her a mean look. She lowers her hand and blushes…

Sonic: (Talking to the girls) Ladies, don’t do this! This is EGGMAN we’re talking here! EGG. MAN.

Eggman: Give it up, hedgehog! The girls are under the wolf boys’ control! Absolutely NOTHING can snap them out to reality!

DM’s voice: You sure about that?

Eggman: ?!?!!?!?

DM walks in!

DM: Cuz’ I think you missed one.

Knuckles: (Gets up on his feet.) About TIME you showed up! … (Clicks his back.)

Barknado: Whoa hold the phone, dawgs. Looks like we have another patsy on our paws!

Wulfford: (Howls) What a HOOT! (DM raises an eyebrow.)

Hounder: Let’s add her to our collection, boys.

Barknado: Hit it! (They start dancing towards her!)

Knuckles: Oh no… They’re aggressively dancing towards her!

Tails: Run, DM! Your sanity depends on it!

Eggman: Yes… Yes! Dance for her, boys! Dance her into her doom! DANCE, PRETTIES, DANCE!! (Laughs and hoots loudly.)

Amy: DM, get outta there! Don’t fall for it like WE did!

Finally, the boys stop dancing and did cool poses!

Wolfs: WORD!!!

Sonic and the others were in complete shock… Until…

DM: Sorry, boys. I’m married.

Sonic and the boys: HUH??

Eggman, Amy, and her friends: WHAT?!

Wulfford: Whoa man… That’s a… low blow man…

Barknado: We can’t even handle this CHICK? That-that-that-that’s so s-s-s-sick…

Hounder: What a let-let-letdown… This suc-c-c-c-…

Wulfford: Total-total-total-total…

They all kept sputtering words as they make weird robotic notions on their necks and arms until…

BOOM!!! They explode!!! One of the heads of the wolves clangs near the cage. Making one of the girls scream!

Eggman: WHAT THE-?!?! But… But HOW?!

DM: Oh I had to hide for a bit and analyze their behaviors.

Eggman: No no no no no! Not THAT! How did you destroy my perfect boyband creation without lifting a finger?!

DM: I’ve seen this before. All boybands want to get a girl’s attention. (Walks over to the cage.) But their hopes are crushed immediately when the girl says she’s married. (She pulls out a dagger, slices the lock on the cage and the girls were free!!)

Eggman: DAAUGH!!! You are literally making me balder than I already am, dragon girl! Next time I’ll come up with an even GREATER scheme to destroy you! Etcetera etcetera, you get the idea. (He flies off in the Eggmobile.)

Sonic: I got this. (He picks up a stone And stretches his arm.) Gotta stretch it out a bit and…

He throws the rock as hard as he could! Off in the distance, he managed to hit Eggman’s vehicle. Making smoke come out!!

Eggman: (In the distance) GAAH!!!

Later, back in the village as most of the girls were back to normal, Amy and her friends were apologizing to Sonic, his friends, and DM.

Amy: Sonic, we’re sorry we gave you and the boys a scare…

Sonic: Ahh don’t worry about it. We all learned a valuable lesson today.

Tails: That obsessive behavior leads to a violent mental state?

Sonic: No, it’s that boybands SUCK. (He and Knuckles laugh.)

Knuckles: Right on! (They high-five.)

Rouge: Still. Eggman’s really on the ball this time.

Sticks: Except for the time he a made a robot cow, switched bodies with Sonic and hired a potential talented orchestra to destroy us all.

Everyone: … … …

Amy: By the way, you said you were married, DM?

DM: I am.

Knuckles: Lucky you. Who’d you marry anyway?

DM: I married a biker dude. (She leaves…)

Sonic and the others were… quite surprised…

Rouge: That’s hot.